On South American canines

Ruby: "Look at that big fat Dog!"
Theo: "That's not a dog, that's a llama!"

On vaccination

"Is the flu mist when you go past the flu shot?"

On her new name

"I changed my name from Tooth Fairy to Rock Star."

[spoken with sincerity]

On animal rights

Mama: [reading]...tearing up&mdash
Ruby: ANIMALS!
[Mama attempts to regain composure]
Mama: ...this, And tidying that.



Mama is still trying to stop laughing a couple of (short) pages later.

On mixing colors

"If you mix coconut red and coconut blue, and a little yellow, you get chocolate soup."

On moustaches

"Can girls get milk moustaches?"

On bunk beds

"Last night I bumped my head on the bed. It's a BONK bed, so you can bonk your head on it."

On stratospheric scanties

"The sky wears clouds underwear."

On "Put Something In" by Shel Silverstein

Dad: "What two silly things did I put in the world with Mama's help?"
Ruby: "Ziplines."

On her marriage plans

daddy when i turn six i want to have a birthday and i want to wear a princess dress and a big crown and I want the house to turn into a castle and I want to be a princess and I want a prince to rescue me and save the day so he can marry me.

(Paraphrased--somewhat)

On nipples

(Pointing to her mosquito bites) "Look at all these nipples on my feet."

(Pointing to her knuckles) "These are my nipples, right Mommy?"

"Some cars are really fast. It's because they have a lot of nipples, right?"

This is not a word that she is hearing a lot at home! I wonder if it's because at daycare there are a lot of baby bottles?

On the what she has to endure while bathing

"Why are you washing me all day? Stop washing me!"

On what happens to swallowed cherry pits

"I'm gonna have three cherry seeds come out in my poo!"

On how to fix a sock that is inside out

"Can you outside this out?"

On appropriate water attire

"Mom, I need my bathing soups."

On What to Do About a Broken Toy

As heard by Mama when Theo accidentally pulled a doll's ribbon off:

"Daddy can fix it, because Daddy is a super boy, and he knows how to fix all kinds of things."

Mama then fixed the doll with a clever tool (a piece of paper), thus proving that she is a super girl, and she too knows how to fix all kinds of things.

On Shakespeare's Olfactory Ontology

Dad: I think those big black birds are crows.

Ruby: I think they smell like a rose.

...from the can-not-make-this-stuff-up dept

An honest answer

Mom: Ruby, how many times did I tell you not to play with that chair?
Ruby: I don't know? One...two...three...four...

Conversation about low-fat versus non-fat yogurt

Mom: Ruby, find the one with the fat in it.
Ruby: YOU ARE THE FAT IN IT!

On perseverance

"I fall down a little, then I try it again!"